To Be Your Everything
by onlyyoujarly
Summary: My take on the 1999 Jarly break up. Their pain, love, and longing for one another as they may or may not find their way back home. Jarly.
1. Chapter 1

-1_I remember you do you remember me too  
Born on the 14th of July the smell of roses made her cry  
And though you're going far from home rest assured you're not alone_

'_Cause I would give everything that I own  
I'd give you my heart and this skin and these bones  
The sun the moon the earth the sky I'd never even stopped to wonder why  
I would do anything  
I would give everything  
to be your everything_

**Everything by Stereo Fuse**

She had begged, pleaded, done everything in her power to make him forgive her. He had shut her out, pushed her away, denied her what she so obviously needed.

He had always been closed off, protected from the world. But there had always been something about her, that made him want to be able to be open, be human.

But there was also something about her, the way she smiled, cried, everything, that let him know that she could and would destroy him if he let her in.

He wouldn't take that chance, not by choice anyway. Despite himself, she cracked through his shell with the many promises she wanted to keep, but they both knew she wouldn't.

Because he was Jason, and she was Carly. He never allowed himself to need her enough, and she always seemed to need him too much.

Even now, after seeing her with his best friend, he still longed for her. Though he would never completely admit it. Because in the end, he wasn't sitting outside her house, hoping to catch one glimpse of blond hair, because he cared.

He wasn't standing in the rain, because he missed her, and her unique taste.

Because Jason Morgan was incapable of love, and everyone in Port Charles knew it, except Carly.

"_It'll never be over." _Her words repeated in his heart, his mind demanding them gone. Part of him feared she was right. He couldn't physically or emotionally handle feeling this way ever again. Like his whole world had literally been ripped from under him, and it had been. Because she was the center of his everything.

But, another part of a him, the irrational, open-hearted, loving man, the part that he had given to her, prayed for them to be true.

Tentatively, the screen door opened, and Carly stepped out into the cold night air. He heard her thick swallow, and the soft thud of her bare feet as she descended her porch stairs, the rain engulfing her.

"Jason." She breathed his name, tugging her robe tighter around herself.

Jason closed his eyes, and clenched his hands into fists. Anything to deny the urge to run and take her in his arms.

"What are you doing here?" She questioned, her voice low, her eyes confused.

Was he really that good of a liar? Had she really believed he wouldn't forgive her?

He shrugged. "I honestly don't know." he truthfully lied.

Her eyebrows shot up, and her lips tugged up in a semi smile.

"That's the problem…" She responded, and the sudden sadness in her voice and eyes made it hard for Jason to breath.

He averted his eyes away from his former lover, and onto the wet grass.

"Why can't you ever just open up to me and tell me what your feeling?" She whimpered.

Jason's eyes snapped back up to hers, at the pure vulnerability in her voice. By now he couldn't tell the rain droplets from her tears.

"Because it's not that simple, Carly." He explained, a hint of anger creeping into his voice. "I wish it was. But it's not."

Carly shook her head, frantically reaching for Jason. "It is that simple." She insisted. "You just have to let it be."

Jason shook his head, tears gathering in his blue eyes, as he grabbed her wrists. "No, Carly." He whispered. "It's not. At least not for me."

She backed away from him, as if she had been burned, her hands falling lifeless at her side.

"I'm sorry." She apologized for what had to be the hundredth time since he had seen her with Sonny.

He closed his eyes, forcing a small, sad smile. "I am too."

He sighed, shaking his head. "But that doesn't undo the past, or make the pain go away."

Carly wanted to scream at him, slap him, anything to make him realize they could stop the pain, all they had to do was let go, and allow themselves to be together.

Instead, she simply stood there.

"It's getting late. I should leave." Carly shook her head, but remained silent. He always had a way of treating her like a casual friend.

"Goodnight, Jason." Her voice held a bitterness that stopped him in his tracks.

"Carly, please try to understand." He pleaded, taking a tiny step towards her.

She shook her head, stepping back. "All I understand is that you don't want to be with me."

Jason ran a hand across his face, his jaw clenching.

"I want to, Carly…But." He closed his eyes, a sad smile threatening to turn into uncontrollable sobs. "I just don't think I can."

Carly shook her head, clearly upset with him.

"I'm sorry." He apologized lamely.

When she didn't respond, he turned away, defeated, and climbed back onto his bike.


	2. Chapter 2

-1_Seems like such a long long time  
since your body crossed my mind  
but I think that you should know  
it wasn't I who had to go _

_Cause I would give everything that I own  
I'd give you my love and this heart made of stone  
the sun the moon the Earth the sky  
the motorcycle that I like to ride  
I would do anything  
and I would give everything  
to be your everything _

Everything by Stereo Fuse

The sound of Jason's motorcycle roaring to life echoed throughout the otherwise silent neighborhood.

Carly sunk down to the grass, slowly, drowning in her own tears. As the sound of the motorcycle engine faded into the night, she felt an overwhelming loneliness. Almost as if Jason had ripped a part out of her, and taken it with him.

Jason didn't make it any farther than ¼ of a mile down the road, when he stopped, killed the engine, and rested his head against the handlebars, exhausted. Emotionally, he slammed his fist against the bike.

When Carly could no longer hear the motorcycle, and her last connection to Jason was gone, she forced her shaky legs to stand. She swallowed, glancing back at the mansion that had imprisoned her and her baby boy for all these months.

Not allowing herself to think, she just started to run, following the path Jason had sped down not minutes before. Her bare feet slapped against the pavement, but she didn't stop.

Jason forced a tense breath out of his lungs, lifting his head. He wanted to go back to Quartermaine mansion, take Carly in his arms and never let her go. But as the rain picked up, he started his motorcycle.

Carly halted, her breath whooshing out of her, as she nearly tripped. There he was, soaping wet, hair stuck to his head, and hands gripping the handles deathly tight. He was beautiful.

Pulling the soaked robe tighter around, she stepped forward, a twig snapping under her foot.

Jason turned toward her, already knowing it was her. The moment she was in eye range his neck hairs had stood up, and his heart had begun racing. He took her in, the wet robe draped poorly over her figure, and the hairs sticking to her face.

Carly swallowed, averting her eyes to the ground, toying with her wedding ring, the one A.J had given her.

"Carly…" Her name was a sweet honey off his tongue, as she gathered the courage to meet his eyes.

"Please, don't do this." She pleaded. "Don't leave me and our baby."

Jason's eyes closed. "I have to do this for me. I'm not trying to hurt you." He explained. "I love you and Michael more than anything. Please try to understand." He begged.

She shook her head. "Jase, I'm sorry…but I don't. I just…I don't." She attempted to answer. "All I know is your leaving, and I have no idea when you're coming back." She whimpered. "But I need you, Jason. I've never been without you, not since that night at Jake's. And my life before that night was hell. My life without you is nothing."

He smiled sadly, wanting so badly to get off his bike and wipe away her tears, but if he did he would have to hold her, then kiss her, then make love to her, and then stay…for always. He couldn't do that.

"Carly, you are everything to me! You are strong, beautiful, independent, determined, and loving. I am nothing without you! You're the reason I'm something…so I promise you this…Carly…You will be fine on your own. But, if you do need for some reason, I'll come running. No need to call, I'll just know."

Carly began to panic, as the realization that he was really going to leave set in. She only had one other option. "What about Michael. Our son?"

Jason swallowed thickly. "Carly…you know I love Michael. But Sonny would make a wonderful father."

Full lips forming silent sob, a lone tear fell. "So your not only giving me to Sonny, your giving our son to him too." She accused. "Well, Jason! We don't fucking want him! We want you!" She screamed, near hysteria. Sobs wracking her shoulders, she slowly sank to the road. "We need you…not him. Jason…"

He tried his dam nest to hold in his tears. It wouldn't help her to see him break down. "Carly…please don't do this."

"Why?" She demanded. "Because you know it's true." She wiped roughly at her tears, hating herself for caring so much.

"No, because no matter how much we talk, It's not going to change anything." He stated, barely keeping his pain and anger in check. "You slept with Sonny, Carly! Do you have any idea how much you destroyed me? I don't even know who I am anymore! Please, I need to do this for me! I need to find myself again!"

Jumping to her feet, Carly stormed over to him, slapping him hard across the face. "Fuck you, Jason Morgan!" She screamed, her shrill voice echoing.

Jason's eyes closed, and his jaw clenched.

Tears replaced the fire in Carly's eyes as she crumbled, and Jason was forced to engulf her in his arms, gently placing her in front of him on the motorcycle. It was only natural.

"I love you, so much." She whispered, kissing his cheek. "Just promise you'll come back to me."

He sighed, running his hand up and down her back. "I promise."


	3. Chapter 3

-1_But if ever you should stray just sing along and I will play  
Look into your hands I'm slipping through them like a tiny grain of sand_

I remember you do you remember me too  
Seems like such a long long time since I held you near and called you mine

Everything By Stereo Fuse

Exhaling deeply, Carly forced herself to pull away from Jason. "You better go." Her voice was bitter and resentful, even to her own ears.

She tried to ignore the emptiness that encased his beautiful blue eyes, and the small tremor in his voice as he spoke, "Carly, don't do that."

She laughed mockingly, cocking her head to the side. "Do what, Jase? Make it seem like you never loved me, like I never loved you. That's your job, Jason, and you're doing it splendidly."

"Carly, you know I love you." He insisted, and when his eyes managed to find hers, hers misted with tears.

She sobbed quietly. "You had me fooled." She whispered.

Before she could comprehend what was happening, Jason was swinging his leg over his bike, and advancing toward her, his arms outstretched.

"No, Don't touch me!" She protested, pushing insistently against his chest, but he pulled her petite frame against his.

"Jason. No." She whispered, her body betraying her, and relaxing into his.

"Carly, it's going to be okay. I promise. Please, believe me." He assured her, and she almost believed him when she felt the familiar sensation of his fingers running through her hair.

"No, Jason." She repeated, pulling away, fighting every natural instinct to stay in his arms. The second his arms slipped from her waist, and she saw the insecurities dancing in his blue orbs, before he closed himself off again, she knew she had broke something in him.

Despite her inner-turmoil, she forced herself to be realistic. He had shattered her, just as many times as she had destroyed him. It was what they did. They allowed each other to get close enough, but not too close.

It had long since stopped raining, now there were only a few puddles left behind as evidence that the storm had ever happened. In a few hours, they would disappear as well. Carly couldn't help but wonder if that was going to be like her and Jason in a few short months.

"It's not going to be okay." She yelled, her voice cracking. "Your going to leave, and Michael and I are going to be here, in Port Charles, without you, stuck with some guy who hates us. And you're going to find some gorgeous woman, who doesn't make plans, doesn't mess up everything she touches, and doesn't self-destruct every time you turn around. And you're going to fall in love with her, and she's actually going to deserve you. She's going to give you a child that you don't have to lie to keep."

Jason was dumbfounded, and he struggled to find the words that would reassure her that he did love her, and no other woman would ever compare. But 'its okay' didn't cut it this time, not for her, or for him.

She had so many expectations for him, and the beautiful thing was she thought they were easy for him. She thought so highly of him, that she was willing to put her son's life in his hands, to give him her heart, allow him to touch her body. He couldn't even begin to thank her for all she had done for him, when she had thought he was doing for her. No other woman could possibly ever be strong enough to do all for him, to love him that much.

"Carly, I will never love anyone the way I love you. You are etched into my soul, every memory, kiss, touch. I try to walk away, but I can't." He shook his head. "How could you think I deserve better? You…you deserve so much more than this. You should have a two-story house in the country, and be married to a doctor, with a few other children. But, I can't give you that, and neither can Sonny."

"I love you too, Jason." She responded, moving towards him, and taking his face in her hands.

"Then let me go." He requested, watching as her eyes became down-cast in an attempt to hide her new onslaught of unshed tears. Her arms dropped to her sides, and Jason wanted touch them, rub them, caress them, anything to sooth the goose bumps breaking out upon her delicate flesh.

"Whatever you want." She replied, her voice monotone, and her eyes suddenly detached. "But, tell me one thing, Jason. What am I supposed to tell Michael when he cries for his daddy, or when all the other little boys have a father, and he doesn't…how am I suppose to explain that to our baby."

Forcefully she grabbed his chin, her nails digging into his skin, forcing his cold stair to meet her own angry eyes. "Shit, the least you could do is look at me."

Jason tore his face from her hold. "What the hell do you want me to say, Carly? That I'm sorry. Well I am. I didn't want it end like this."

"Then why is it, Jason?" She questioned, her voice rising.

"Because you slept with Sonny" His reply was bordering on yelling, and he had to pause to maintain control of his anger. "And as much I want to, I can't forgive you. At least not now."

She nodded, his words sinking in, as she moved away from him.

Jason attempted to search her brown eyes for any recognition, any sign that she understood, but he saw nothing. For the first time, she had completely closed herself off from him.

"You should leave, before someone catches us together." Her voice was even, and her eyes distant.

He wet his lips, wordlessly straddling his bike. His lips parted, there were so many things he wanted to say, but couldn't. "I love you, Carly." And then he was gone, leaving her alone, in the middle of the dark street soaking wet.


	4. Chapter 4

-1_Cause I would give everything that I own  
I'd give you my heart and this skin and these bones  
The sun the moon the earth the sky a brand new car that you and I could drive  
I would do anything  
I would give everything  
to be your everything  
Everything_

Everything By Stereo Fuse

_**Four Years Later  
Port Charles**_

Michael happily ran towards the swings. Carly laughed, struggling to keep up with him. Now, six years old, the little red head was as energetic as he could get.

Smiling, she watched as her son swung, speaking excitedly about touching the sky. "Mommy, watch me!" He commanded.

She admired his innocence, and would do anything to make sure he kept it, for as long as possible. That meant keeping him away from Sonny and A.J., which hadn't proven to be that difficult.

While she was pregnant with Sonny's child, Sonny had pulled some strings and forced A.J. to grant her the divorce she desired, and also give her sole custody. Shortly after, she had miscarried, leaving her and Michael free of both monsters. Not that she didn't wonder what her baby would look like, if it would have been a girl, or a little boy for Michael to play with.

Now, she was living in the pent house, the same one she use to share with Jason. After all, it was only right, it was home, the only one she had ever really known, and the only one she wanted her son to know. Despite the many heartbreaking memories of love and laughter from years ago, it was a wonderful place to raise their son.

00000000000000

Jason found himself leaning against a tree, the rough bark digging into his arm and shoulder. The sight of Carly and Michael, after so many years, was just too much. He couldn't hold himself up, knowing she was so close, touchable, smiling, laughing, with their son.

He contemplated going over to her, letting his presence be known. He knew he had to do it eventually, but the fear that she hated him, kept him glued to his spot.

Then, a young man approached her, picked up Michael, and kissed both of them on the cheek. He noticed the small glint of annoyance in Carly's brown eyes, as she politely shoved the man away.

"Kyle…" Though the oblivious man didn't seem to catch on to the frustration lacing her tone, Jason heard it right away.

"Carly, please…just consider it." He pleaded, and even Jason found himself impressed with the diamond he pulled from his pocket. "Marry me, and I promise I will take care of you and Michael."

Even from a few feet away, he could see the lump in her throat form, as she struggled to speak. Though he already knew she was going to decline, it was written all over her face, he couldn't remember another moment when he had been so nervous. What if he had found her, just to loose her? Then again, she wasn't his to loose anymore.

"No." The blessed word escaped her pink lips, and Jason fell in love with her all over again. "I'm sorry."

Jason did feel bad for the guy, he knew how it felt to have that gorgeous blond crush his world.

Relief washed over him, as Carly took their son from the stranger's arms. Shortly after, the man walked away, after some persuasion from Carly, and insistence that it was best not to discuss it in front of Michael.

00000000000

Carly sighed, sinking down onto one of the park benches, as Michael scurried over to the slide. Kyle was a wonderful guy, and they had dated for a few months, after meeting through Lucky.

She had enjoyed his company, but after a few dates, and nights of empty sex, she had ended it. But he just wouldn't let it go, and kept insisting that they were good for each other, and he loved her and Michael. He was a bit on the obsessive side, but nothing dangerous.

She was flattered, but he wasn't Jason, and she couldn't see herself spending her life with anyone but him. But Michael did need a father figure, and as much as she didn't want to admit it, she didn't see Jason returning.  
Maybe she would consider it…if not for her, for her son.

"Mommy, push me." Michael cheered, jumping into a swing. Carly smiled, temporarily banishing her stress filled thoughts from her mind, and stood up from the bench.

"Alright, but only if you promise to clean your room." She bargained, raising an eyebrow, holding the metal chains.

He rolled his eyes. "Yes."

She laughed, giving him a good shove, and then allowing him to take over.

Watching as her son swung higher and higher, Carly settled into the swing next to him, and began to pump her own legs. They fell into a rhythm, where when she went forward, he went backward, ect.

Confused, she watched as Michael jumped out of the swing, and froze when his small feet hit the ground. His eyes widened, and Carly thought he was going to pass out, as his fair skin became even paler.

00000000000000

"Daddy!" He exclaimed, and for a second, Jason's heart broke, as he searched for Kyle, Sonny, or A.J. His son called another man dad.

But when he heard Carly's soft voice, he knew. "Jason…"


	5. Chapter 5

-1"Jason…"

He froze, as a small body collided with his own, his blue eyes slowly drinking in his soul mate. From her brightly painted red toe nails, to the curve of her waist, the waist he died to rest his hands upon. Then her lips. He wanted nothing more than to taste her, to take her in his arms, and kiss her so deeply until his very essence became Carly.

Wetting his lips, Jason eagerly ran his fingers through Michael's red hair, his gaze moving to the little boy attached to him. He couldn't even begin to imagine all the things he had missed, that Sonny had been able to witness. A sudden surge of possessiveness shot through him, and Jason found himself kneeling down, so he was eye level with his son.

Before he could utter a word, Michael asked, "Why did you have to leave us?"

Jason itched his eyebrow. Not sure of how to respond to such a complicated question coming from such a naïve mouth. So he settled for apologizing. "I'm sorry, buddy. I'm not going anywhere this time."

Michael seemed pleased with the response, because he turned towards his mother, a huge grin on his lips. "Daddy is staying this time, Mommy." He exclaimed.

Jason saw something flash in Carly's brown depths. It was all too familiar but yet one of the few things he was never sure how to read. He watched, not able to tear his eyes away, as her eyes closed, before reopening revealing a coldness that made, even him, shiver.

"I don't think that's a good idea." She protested, her voice laced with a coolness.

"Carly…" He pleaded, helplessly allowing Carly to pull Michael away from him.

"No…Jason." Her answer was simple, and almost final, but a small glint of uncertainty in her brown eyes gave her away. She still loved him, craved him, needed him, was still addicted to him.

"You're the one that left." She insisted, obviously aware that he had noticed her weakness.

"But I'm here now." He defended himself.

"I begged you to stay, Jason!" Her voice came out almost as hysterical, and Jason longed to take her in his arms, and dry her tears. "And you left."

"Can we not discuss this in front of Michael?" He requested, his teeth clenched. He was fighting for control, it was taking every ounce of him not to loose his temper.

"Why? Jason…our son didn't phase you the night you had to leave. Why should Michael matter now?" She demanded, drawing the little red-head closer to her.

"I was stupid then. But for some reason you loved me, put your faith in me, and I let you down. I'm sorry." He was desperate now. He could literally feel her pulling away, and see her eyes darkening with each word that passed her lips. It was almost as though she was falling out of love with him, and he didn't really blame her…still the thought left him uneasy.

"I had the world…everything that I needed right in front of me. I just didn't notice it."

She nodded, her eyebrows raising. "You should of looked harder."

The bitter truth of her words hit him hard, as he watched her retreating back, Michael's innocent eyes looking back at him.

--

"I was scared."

The pure panic in Jason's voice stopped Carly dead in her tracks, but she didn't face him. In the short years that they had been everything, she couldn't recall ever hearing him so on edge. It made her nervous. To think about him, her protector, rock, her Jason as…breakable. That she, a petite blond woman could break him.

But as she turned toward him, Michael still clutched tightly to her side, it was undeniable. It was all over his face. The way his forehead was creased with worry, his brows knitted together, his piercing blue eyes helplessly searching hers.

"Please…Carly." His voice was strained, and she couldn't help but take a few steps toward him.

"What were you afraid of? What was so horrible that you had to leave your family, Jason? Our son…me?" She questioned.

"I saw you…that night…and I just. I don't know. I snapped. I had to leave. To get out of Port Charles…away from you…and him." He struggled to explain, and though it barely made any sense, she understood.

How could she not, because despite it all…even after she had slept with his best friend, and he had left her standing alone in the damned rain. Damned irony. It was only to be expected that if it was in the midst of a storm, that they had truly begun breathing, living, loving, of course it would all be ripped away in the rain as well. In the end…she was still Carly, and he was Jason. And nothing would ever change the fact that they were it for each other…there was no one else.

"I couldn't let you hurt me." He stated, and though he had left after she already had…again she understood. It was his need for independence, to be able to stand alone, to need to not need her.

"Okay." She replied, breathlessly, for once in her life short on things to say.

He scratched his eyebrow, clearly confused. "What?"

"Okay…" She repeated.

"That's it?" He asked, completely dumbfounded, which she found adorable. "You're not angry…"

"Yeah I am." She assured him. "and it was very cowardly to run all those years ago."

"But it must of taken a lot to come back. Knowing that there was a possibility I might be with Sonny…or A.J." She cringed at the thought, before smiling slightly, reassuringly. She knew she probably wouldn't have been able to do that.

She sighed, looking between Michael and Jason. Rolling her eyes, she laughed, motioning towards both of them. "Come on, you two." She ordered, faux annoyance in her voice.

Michael's little body crashed into her side, as Jason calmly advanced towards her, making it almost impossible to breath with the intensity of his gaze, and the anticipation of his touch.

Finally, she was lifted off the ground, and Michael didn't seem to mind having to release her, as she surrendered herself into Jason's strong arms.

"Jason." She breathed. "My god."

She felt him smile against her hair, before returning her to her feet. Selfishly, she buried her face in his neck, placing a soft kiss there.

His hand on her chin had her looking up at him, his eyes entrancing her, pulling her in like they had so many times before, years ago. Then his lips were on hers, and there was no time for doubt, or second thoughts. Any woman in her right mind would have demanded time to get her thoughts together, to learn to trust him again. But that wasn't needed. Because she had never really stopped trusting him in the first place, as foolish as it was to others…Jason understood.

There were no declarations of love or roses, nothing fancy. They had always been simple. Besides those things were corny anyway. She knew Jason loved her, saw it in his eyes, felt it in his touch. She had grown to appreciate the little things.

She smiled against his lips. She could have swore she felt a raindrop…


End file.
